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A Bit Wordy: Got Gas?


Funny thing happened at the gas pump. I know there’s nothing funny about gas or the price of it but thanks to the redneck in front of me, I did have a little chuckle.  He was filling up his three-tone (brown, white and rust) supercharged truck. He must have been in a hurry; he didn’t even have time to dress. I could tell he was pissed off. Probably because he wanted to race to the next red light and had to stop for gas along the way. Now, I’m not the kind of guy who questions other people’s attire, but on this day I did. He was wearing a bath robe and slippers. Before I move on, I want to offer a tip.

Never get gas behind a pickup truck at Native Canadian gas station. I will guarantee you he is packing a shit ton of jerry cans in the payload.

This guy clearly had no shame. After the fill up, he walked in to pay and filled up an envelope with lottery tickets before leaving. There I was waiting right behind Cousin Eddie from Christmas vacation. Sometimes I feel like I’m being penalized for paying with cash. Every time I try to pay cash, I end up waiting in the “gas and lottery line” Another thing. There is a sign on the way in that clearly states not shirt, no shoes, no service. But I guess robes and slippers are okay.  This guy, who clearly deserved to proudly display his “f it” sticker on the back window of his truck., was all about getting attention. I guess having two huge Canadian flags hanging on the side of his vehicle wasn’t enough. I mean to wake up half naked and say, “f it”. Still, I wonder when this guy gave up. I know, life can be hard, I get it and I’m sure if you get beat up enough, you’d think “the hell with it, this is about as good as it’s going to get. F it, where's my robe and slippers” I was standing in line wondering what his wife was like. Was she wearing her robe too, yelling “don’t forget the lottery tickets” as she walked her pajama kids to school.

Maybe I’m jealous. Maybe I fear embarrassment. Or maybe I just have a plan and wearing clothes is a big part of it. If you are the robe guy good for you. I know me writing about this will in no way at all offend you. If you show up at the pump in a backward cap and clothes on, I might be concerned.

This has been a bit wordy. Thanks for hanging in there.

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