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How fuzzy was he?

When I was a kid, I kept wondering when it would happen. After a little help from science things started taking off. A word of warning: Be careful what you wish for. I hit puberty late and it kind of just won't go away. 

I have been a Peter Sellers fan my whole life. Peter Sellers was a hairy man. I have seen guys wearing hair sweaters in the pool; It wasn't a good look. Then one day I looked into the mirror and saw something. It was a Jekyll and Hyde moment. Well, I wanted to hide but I couldn’t. I was morphing into Inspector Clouseau, right before my eyes.  Yes, I know, that you know, that I know, I am a sasquatch.

There was a time when I hid my hairless body. Now I run around like a five-foot nine-inch ape looking for a tree to hide behind. A hairy chest I would have been okay with. Everyone loved Bert Reynolds, but I didn't ask for my shoulders and back to get jealous. 

It's a cruel joke. I hit my sixties with sixty percent of my body covered in hair.  The other forty percent that was once on the top of my head, headed south to the shower drain. I tell myself I'm only thinning. But when did thinning become shinning.

I convince myself it's just hair don't lose it. Okay, don't let it bother you too much. You can pray to God for many things. Why not hair? Please Lord you got to help me out. I don't want to be an old bald man. The lord answers "here's a walker and a ball cap"

The ball cap says so much. When you're young and bald on purpose and have an attitude, your hat is tilted to the side.  If you have an "f you" attitude, political and don't want to burn your already red, red neck, you wear it backwards. When you're old you’re not trying to make a statement, you just don't want to get sun stroke.

I love playing golf and I'm thankful that wearing a cap is acceptable attire. I like to cover my head especially when it's hot. I have never lost a cap losing my head on the golf course. 

When you’re old it's okay to forget that the sun only shines outside. I have seen a lot of mall walkers who didn't get the memo. After several laps and possible naps, they take break and drink coffee with their cap wearing friends.  Their caps come with two types of logos: Sports teams and farm equipment. "Nothing runs like and old man in a walker" is probably not a good tagline. 

To cap or not to cap is not the question but often the answer. It's just hair. It will grow on you, or maybe not. The transition from brush, comb and towel may happen quickly. I want to clarify that hair doesn't make the man. It's good thing too. The view from the drain up is not a pretty one. But that's another story. 



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