A new cinema opened up in town. Yeah! We decided to try it out. Yippy! We already had our passes prepaid. It should have been easy, peazy, show me my seatie. Nope. We were instructed to go to the concession counter. Okay, a little different. Obviously a sales tactic. The clerk asked for our passes. We handed them to her and told her that they included a soda and popcorn. She immediately look puzzled. Was it her first day? I think it was. Someone who looked just as confused started finger punching the POS. We stood in line and waited and waited and waited. They were having a hard time processing our orders. I paced around trying not to get frustrated, while my brother in-law and his wife (my sister) took care of business.
I gave the staff a few eye rolls and OMG's, then I looked around to distract myself. That's when I noticed I was overdressed. I didn't have slippers on. I wasn't wearing Hello Kitty Pajamas. And I didn't have a blankie. There's nothing like a good blankie. My blankie was at home and he's very upset that he missed the show. What shall I do? I don't get it. It's freezing cold outside. What tells these kids to wear a blankie instead of a coat? Maybe I should check Tic Toc. Oh, the price they pay to be part of a fashion statement. Here's a statement. I hope you freeze your ass off. I'm sorry but you do have options. Just saying. You know what, just saying, just saying get's my dander up. Yes, I am that old. But I do have a nice winter coat. I guess I'd rather be warm and unfashionable. Luckily, the parents didn't follow their kids flair for fashion. Nobody wants to see that. In fact, the reason why they went to show in the first place was because Grandpa was watching wheel of fortune in his boxers and talking to himself again. Why does everyone want to buy a bowel ? Hey! It could be a reason.
I want to clarify, when I say kids, I mean teenagers. Teenagers, slippers and Pajamas, oh my. Don't forget the blankie. Now, back to our story.
I Smiled and tried to disguise my criticism . Then I thought. The only time I was allowed to wear pajamas outside the house when I was a kid was when our family went to the drive in theater. For an obvious reason; I fell asleep during the second feature. Thank God I had my Blankie!
Clearly, these parents didn't care what their kids looked like. The kids must have thought. If it's good enough for school, the mall or Starbucks, it's good enough for the movies? My attention was swayed from my discuss to a discussion. The girl behind the counter was being trained. What we didn't realize was that she was getting trained in ripping people off. It seemed like a simple question. She asked. Would you like butter on your popcorn? Thinking that there would be just a small charge for real butter, we all said yes. Then she told us the price. We laughed out loud and said in unison, No! Fourteen dollars for butter. Are you kidding me? Apparently not. Ten minutes later we finally settled up. No extra butter, no extra charge and no time to spare. Now we waited in another line. Right behind, the blanket brigade. We waited and waited; you get my drift. A long time. Speaking of time. It was show time. I was losing my patience. Then again, previews usually lasted for about half an hour, so I didn't sweat it too much. We finally got our cups for our sodas and hugged our popcorn bags. We poured our drinks of choice from the self serve. I poured Coke zero. I didn't want Coke Zero but I didn't have time to fight with the machine. Around the counter I saw a surprise. A fake butter dispenser. And it was free. So would be the chest pains later. I splashed a good dose of artery clogging butter substitute on my popcorn and we were on our way.
We eventually found our seats just in time. It took a little bit to work the recliner. I figured it out. I sat down, elevated my feet and de-elevated my blood pressure. I had just taken my first nibble of popcorn and sipped my pop, when then screen came to life. The title was nothing special but the words that followed change my mood. Again. To think that two words had the power to piss people off. Alright, just me. Not the PJ party. No. What were the two words you might ask? I'll assume you did. Part one. As I f bombed the filmmakers in my mind, I wondered just how many more. How many more? Who knew? I knew one thing, I was never going to see Part Two in the cinema. No, the next time I'll be at home on the couch watching with nothing but Hanes on. Just like grandpa. Who am I kidding, I'll have my Batman Pj's on with a towel around my neck. Hey! if you got a cape, you wear it. I did learn one thing though. The reason why the butter was so expensive; to pay for the Recliners.
I wrote this story at my favorite cafe. I did a make shift standup routine for the owner. He laughed. I went back to my table finished the rough copy saved it and proceeded out. I began to back out of the parking lot and saw two kids walking in, wearing you guess it, Pajamas.
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