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The Great Gerbal Escape

My high school was having a rodent raffle. Gerbils to be exact. My friend and I decided to buy tickets. The school PA speaker crackled to life in our home room. The PA didn't always work. It did one day when I did my Howard Cosell impression in the cafeteria/Auditorium.

Two students were play-fighting, and I called the fight just like Howard. The mic was a prop. So I thought. Little did I know the bout was being broadcast live in every room and hallway. I was a hit. People walked up to me and said how good my impression was. Now, back to the rodents.The speaker chimed in. The winner of the gerbils is Dennis Deschamps.  I jumped from my seat and headed down to the office to pick up my prize. Two gerbils. I was told they were the same sex, so I didn't need to worry about babies. Apparently, this was news to them. My mother, as you will remember, wasn't keen on anything with tails. Our family dog was the only exception. One time, we found a garter snake and brought it into the house to show Mom.  She screamed. My younger brother thought he could carry around a frog in his shirt pocket. It was just a frog. He hadn't had a tail since he was a wee tadpole. She wasn't impressed with the cute frog-in-the-pocket ploy. She wasn't very happy about me bringing home a couple of furry friends. I assured her that they would stay in a cage in my locked room.

I started constructing a cardboard maze and placed a piece of cheese as a reward at the end of the rat race. Inside the cage, a water bottle, wood shaving, and gerbil food finished their habitat. The two lived in rodent bliss. They must have wanted to share the bliss with others, so it was no surprise when I found a bunch of little pink babies. I had decided to keep that a secret, and it worked for a while. I learned a few things about gerbils. They grow up fast.  They don't like cardboard or having to race for a treat.

Then it happened. Mom opened my bedroom door and screamed as the rodents made a run for it. That afternoon when I got home from school, my mother gave me the look. I knew something was wrong. We didn't see that look very often. When we saw it, we ran for cover. "Get those rats out of here." That night, I brought my little furry convicts to the pet shop. The angry look softened, that is, until she saw Charlie the squirrel in the backyard. 
 



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