Senior Coffee

We were in Vegas waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. I won't say the name but it's the one with those lovely kiosks that every tech challenged senior hate. It was morning and we needed coffee.  The guy in front of us needed a coffee too and he needed it really bad.  There was nobody at the counter, so he asked the old lady wiping the tables, if he could get one. She was clearly having a bad day and decided this guy was enemy number one. She was waiting for the right opportunity to yell at someone. Enter, caffeine deprived old guy.  She threw her towel on the table, looked over the rim of her glasses and let the poor guy have it. You have to use to the touch screen. Sounding a bit like a blue haired wicked witch of the west. She was not happy for a couple reasons. One, she was eighty years old and two; she was still working.

 The old man looked at the screen and was just a little puzzled. He was about to lose it and yelled, Can't I just go to the counter. I don't know how to work this frigging thing.  She barked back. No! You have to use the kiosk! There he was mumbling to himself. All I want is a frigging seniors coffee! There he was, swiping page to page, up, down, left and right, like he was on a dating site for tech challenged old fart coffee drinkers. Eventually, he found the coffee screen. Everyone could hear him thinking out loud.  I know it was a cry for help. Only we couldn't help, we were just as old and just as challenged. 

Let see coffee. Click. What size? Click. The screen had more drop down boxes than an Amazon driver. Would you like cream? Yes? He answered the machine and hit the button. Click. How many? One, thank you. He punches the button. Click. Sugar? No thanks How many? I said, no thank you. To complete your order please press pay now. The next screen had two options: credit card or debit. The old man is furious, not only could he not buy a senior discount coffee, he had a fist full of cash that the machine will not take. He begins to shake a little as he looks for a slot (like vending machine) somewhere on the screen. He yells out how the frig do I pay for this? Blue hair chimes in the screen says debit or credit! I'm not paying for a coffee with my credit card, who do you think I am some stoner kid buying a bag of chips and zigzags. Then he notices the price difference. He looks up and yells where 's the frigging button for seniors discount. She yells back. There is no senior discount on the kiosk you have to come to the counter. The old man now frantic puts his wad of cash back in his pocket and leaves. 

I will conclude by giving you a coffee tip I use in Vegas all the time. I wake up every morning and head down to my favorite keno machine.  I sit down put five dollars in. On top I have a bill visible to the server. A server usually shows up soon. I order a coffee. I play one nickel at a time. When I get my coffee I give her a dollar tip. I cash out four dollars and I'm on my way. I sat on my ass and paid two dollars for coffee. The coffee is always better than fast food slop. If I win I give her more. I'm cheap but I'm not that cheap.