My father had a hobby. I could have called him a hoser -he did like hockey and the odd beer- but he was over-educated for the slang, so I'll call him the man with a hose. The hose-man of Buckingham Drive had an obsession: Washing cement. Dirt and pebbles had no place to hide. And every little tree trying to grow between the cracks stood no chance against the hose-man.
Have
hose will spray
His routine started with a car wash, next he watered flowers,
the lawn, and then he finished with tree plucking, cement washing. It could
have been ninety-five degrees, but there he was wearing his faded blue foundry coveralls,
courtesy of Ford Motor Company. Underneath he wore a Pepe’ Joe standard issued
white (fruit of the loom) tee shirt. The boxers I won't mention. Somethings you
just don't talk about more than once. I went into detail in my post about
laundry day at Wassi Lodge. To complete the attire; slip-on safety boots. There was only one thing missing: A better hose.
My mother decided since unromantic practical gifts
were the norm, that a fifty-foot rubber hose and reel was a good idea. My dad
was on cloud nine. A new toy. He no longer had to roll the hose up by hand; he
just had to turn a knob.
Stay
away from the spray
My dad would spend the whole afternoon watering the
cement and waiting for an opportunity to soak anyone in his path. My mother
would open the door a crack to tell him lunch was ready, but he was ready too.
Like an outlaw spraying a saloon door. Gotcha!
Never
give a man a hose with a hair trigger
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