Me Times Three

I wanted to create a weekly story about three characters all played by me. The patient, the psychologist and his secretary. The idea is to help the writer. Me. Share with his audience. You. A story about life. Maybe doctor D might just help patient DD figure it out.

The story begins…

Imagine a doctor's office. At the desk is a drag version of me. Not a pretty version but for this story she or he will do. Why I felt the need to create the drag character is a mystery. Maybe Doctor D will help me figure it out. 

Scene:

The door opens. A man walks in. I'm the man. The office walls are painted mint green with pictures the Doc has taken of various destination on the road. Every picture has a clever little quote. This is meant to lighten the mood but really, it's to stroke his ego. These collections of vacation pictures and words can also be found in his big glossy book which is conveniently laying open on the glass table in the center of the room. I look down and see a picture of a monk sitting on a boulder. The caption reads “Sometimes you must get comfortable with being uncomfortable” I laugh at the coincidence. I was sitting on black vinyl chair. I was not comfortable with being uncomfortable. Beside the book fanned out on the table, are ten-year-old copies of Psychology Today magazines. I find this odd. Just a little light reading. Maybe I'll find the answers to my problems and save some money at the same time. It kind of reminds me of going to the self-help section of a bookstore, trying to find myself and finding out I'm lost. This is why they have the bargain section next door. You tried to find yourself and after not finding yourself, you look to find a cheap distraction. Hey, what do you know, ancient history is on sale.

It wasn't my first time the office and It's not the first time receiving the same strange response. Well, it wasn't a response, more like a quiet question mark hovering just above her big blonde head. Before you ask. No, I don't know why she is a blonde. Well, then again (I’ll add a little segway here just for fun) I did dress in drag once. 

It was before the five o'clock shadow days. It was for a murder mystery and there was only one rule. Whatever you pulled out of the hat, you had to be, no questions asked. Lucky me. I picked baby-faced blonde bombshell. 

Dressing up

The wig was easy to find and so was the dress. The high heels were harder to find and even harder to wear. Ouch! I squeezed into the dress and into the shoes, but I didn't squeeze the grapefruits.  There's nothing worse than citrus lactation in a borrowed padded bra. The biggest challenge was hiking up an A cup with a B cup fruit. 

Make up

Everything starts with a proper foundation but putting foundation on a man's face can never be misconstrued as proper, unless of course, you are a president, I guess. Next eyeliner and fake eye lashes. Makeup always looked better on a hairless face. I wouldn't even think about it now. I think I was twenty-seven at the time. If you have read my posts, you would be familiar with my story. Let's just say, be careful what you wish for. Today I am a sasquatch trying to find a tree to hide behind. There before my eyes she stood. I must admit I looked hot. My brother-in-law likes to say "self praise is no recommendation" He wasn't there then so,  give a girl a break. I even got a few interesting looks at the party. Thankfully, I got stabbed in the back and was murdered in scene one. I stripped so fast. Another reminder that I was not comfortable with being uncomfortable. Back to the hanging question mark above the secretary's head.

I could feel her eyes, and I wondered what she was thinking. Luckily for you the author of her thoughts, is yup, you guessed it. Me. 

Look Mr. Mumbles is here

End of scene

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Come back next time for more me, times three.

What's up with the hairy secretary?

Will D slow down so she can understand anything he says?

These questions and more next time on

Me X 3