The call

 High school was in the rear view mirror of life. I was looking toward the future. There where a few bugs splattered to the windshield but I could see enough to get down the road. The journey was a painfully one, mentally and physically but I learned to grow while growing. That's the way it usually works. I had grown a foot in a little over a year. Puberty was delayed and the embarrassment of being a hairless adult made it hard for me to be intimate with anyone. I didn't know what urges where until the hormones kicked in. Still I loathed my hairless body. Today I am a sixty-six year old walking sasquatch.  Be careful what you wish for, I guess. Having no desire to fornicate, I decided to investigate a celibate life.  Every catholic family had at least one child destined for secular or religious life.  That child was me. 

My spiritual advisor and local priest Father Janise, help me with my spiritual journey. A journey that took me to Saint Peter's Seminary in London Ontario. They called it a come and see weekend. I meet some seminarians. Some of whom are now priests in my diocese. The tour started with a walk through of the seminary and I even got a chance to sit in on philosophy class at Kings College next door. All in all it was an interesting weekend but I didn't enjoy the interview at the end. The one question I didn't expect came out of left field. It wasn't like I was signing up that day. Why ask such a question. Are you a homosexual? My response was no. I was confused by the whole thing since finding out my Godfather was gay when they out-ed him in a Toronto paper. Of course when I was a young teenager I believed he was going to go to hell. I know better today. He was the nicest person you'd ever meet and he died way to young. Every time he came to town was celebration not because he brought us desert (which he often did) but because he brought his love.  I missed him so and you could say I have a deeper understanding for what he must of went through.  I left the seminary weekend with mixed feelings and I still wasn't sure what Gods plan was for me. 

In the meantime I joined a singing group known as, Faith Unlimited. We travelled around the county and played nursing homes, singing and dancing. I played guitar both in the group and in our church folk choir. I would receive more offers in the mail from various religious organizations. From Basilian to Redemptorists.  These magazines would pile up on my nightstand waiting for me to browse through. Frankly, it just made me more confused. I would often go back to the steps of grade school and look at the church across the street and wait for God to talk to me. You know listen to the whispers so to speak.

While I waited I befriended a girl in the group. I'll call her the girl in a hat because she worn one all the time. Apparently, she like hats a lot or maybe she was a fan of ACDC. Soon I was wearing hat, more like a cap. I couldn't rock it like Brain Johnson but I thought I was cool. That is until some other guy who had a cap just like me came around. I got dump at McDonalds. Funny how you remember things. I guess he wore it better than I did. So I did what I always did. I went to my room to write. This time it was a sad song but I got over her. I had other things on my mind. Higher education.