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Baby Boomers



I am a late blooming baby boomer. That just means I didn't get busy until I almost couldn't get busy. 

What a weird name. Baby boomers. What if one day we died of natural causes: Exploding. Just random people walking down street. Exploding. Zombies you can outrun but that overweight bald guy walking beside you. A ticking time bomb. Nothing but booming boomers everywhere. No mask is going to save you. Better pack a slicker. The hell with the weather, you got bigger unnatural, natural disasters waiting for you.

And walking down the street is no walk in the park.  Hey look! there's my old pal George. You shake George's hand and boom, he explodes. The only thing left of George is in your hand, his hand.

Texting while driving suddenly doesn't seem like a big deal. Waiting at a red light, is a bigger deal. Especially, if the windows are down. The punk with the boom box that's sounds like he's trapped someone in his trunk is tolerable. That old lady beside you driving with her nose at twelve and her hands at ten and two: The ultimate boom box. You're waiting for the lights to change praying you see green before an over abundance of red.

And going to the show is no picnic. Now you have a roomful potential explosive action. Imagine being there. You're on a date. It's your first date and potentially your last. The movie is a thriller and so is ever seat in the place. Suddenly, you hear a boom. You think it's on the screen and it is. It's on the screen, on the chairs, on the floor, everywhere. Even the bloody popcorn, is literally, bloody popcorn.

Going out for dinner; you might as well comment with this place blows on yelp. You'd like to blame the bloody food or the bloody wait staff but for once it's not their fault; It's the guy answering the phone. He left out one important question. How many in your party? Is a good question. What time? A good question. How old are you and what are the ages of people coming with you? This should probably be the first question. I'm sorry sir we are full!!!  And don't think you can just walk in. Trust me they can see you coming. They don't mind seeing going as long as you are going outside. I'm sorry sir, we are full. You look and see an empty restaurant.  Ya, I see you're full of something, let us sit! The guy barks back, I'm sorry sir, we cannot seat you for insurances purposes. You yell Insurance purposes? This place blows as you walk out the door and so do you. Boom!!!

Going to see a comedian is an adventure. Dying laughing, which never happens, is now a possibility. Can you imagine being a comedian. After the show you join your fellow comedian friends for a drink at the bar. They all say the same thing, Man I killed out there tonight. Oh yea what's the body count?

I am a baby boomer and suddenly watching my blood pressure don't mean shit. Eating a healthy diet, same thing. Spontaneous combustion is nothing compared to this. You can't stop, drop and roll this shit out. I would really like to one day have the courage to do stand up. My biggest fear is not stage fright. It's the one night I stand out there and really bomb.

Sometimes comedy is gruesome. This was just for fun. Please don't blow up on me.

Denny D

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